Bertram's Warkworth: UK's Hidden Gem You NEED to See!
Bertram's Warkworth: Hold on to Your Hats (and Maybe That Extra Bagel) – A Review That's NOT Your Average Brochure
Okay, buckle up, because I’m about to spill the tea (and probably some crumbs) on Bertram's Warkworth. Forget the polished, pre-packaged reviews. This is the real deal – a messy, honest, and utterly human take on a place that’s trying really hard to be your perfect getaway spot. And, spoiler alert: it's a mixed bag, folks. A truly fantastic one, but still…
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Accessibility: Almost There! But…
Let’s get the practical stuff out of the way first. Accessibility is… well, it’s trying. They definitely say they're accessible, and that’s a good start. The elevator? Yep, there is one. Bless. Facilities for disabled guests are listed but I didn't see specifics around the rooms. But… navigating some areas felt a bit… hopeful. I spotted some slightly tight doorways and the occasional wonky paving stone outside. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in a wheelchair, but I could totally see where things might get tricky for someone who is. It’s like they're aware of the need, but the execution isn't always perfect. More ramps, wider pathways… it's a work in progress, I'd say.
On-site accessible restaurants/lounges and Wheelchair accessible rooms are indicated, so I certainly don't want to mislead. Check with the hotel to ensure it meets your specific needs.
Internet: Wi-Fi, Wi-Fi Everywhere (Mostly!)
Okay, good news! Free Wi-Fi in all rooms is a win. Internet [LAN] is a bonus and a relic from an older age, but useful if you need some serious bandwidth for work. The Internet itself was pretty solid, so you can Instagram your breakfast buffet with glee. Wi-Fi in public areas was available and didn't require a password the size of a novella. No complaints here. I did not require Internet services such as printing.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: Spa Day - My Deepest, Darkest Confession
This is where Bertram's really shines. Honestly, the spa area is… well, it’s a serious temptation. I mean, Spa/sauna? Body scrub? Body wrap? I’m getting dizzy just listing the options. And the pièce de résistance: the Pool with a view! Holy Hannah! Imagine: you, a plush bathrobe, a cocktail (or a detox juice, if you’re pretending to be healthy), and panoramic views. I could happily spend a week as a human raisin in that pool.
Let me tell you about the massage. I booked one. A “relaxation” massage. I went in stressed, wound up tighter than a banjo string. I emerged… well, I almost floated away. The therapist, bless her, was a miracle worker. She asked about pressure, and I said, "Give it all you’ve got, honey. I need to be kneaded into submission!” (Don’t judge me. We all have bad weeks.) I think I genuinely snored during a portion of it. The massage room was gorgeous. The lighting was perfect. The scent was divine. And afterwards? Pure bliss. I could feel the knots in my shoulders melting away. Worth. Every. Penny. (Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating slightly, but it was seriously good.)
They've also got a Fitness center (which I avoided like the plague, opting for more massage time), a Steamroom (tempted, but I chose pool over steam), and a Sauna.
Important note: The gym/fitness can be considered a bit of a letdown because of a lack of equipment.
Cleanliness and Safety: Paranoid? Maybe. Reassured? Absolutely.
Look, we're all hyper-aware post-pandemic, right? Well, Bertram's gets it. They're doing a stellar job on the hygiene front. Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas (I saw them!), and Rooms sanitized between stays. They offer Room sanitization opt-out available if you're feeling really paranoid. Hand sanitizer stations everywhere. Staff trained in safety protocol… you get the idea. They’ve got it covered.
I really appreciated the Safe dining setup. Sanitized kitchen and tableware items were a must, Individually-wrapped food options (not a huge fan of the packaging, but hey, safety first!), Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, and Staff trained in safety protocol. It felt… safe. Reassuringly safe.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: From Breakfast Buffets to Midnight Munchies
Ooh, the food. This is where Bertram's really tempts you to overindulge. The Breakfast [buffet] is legendary. Seriously. A glorious spread of pastries, fresh fruit, cooked breakfast, everything! I went back for seconds (okay, maybe thirds). The A la carte in the restaurant menu is also great for dinner, but sometimes that breakfast is where it's at. You'll find Coffee/tea in the restaurant, and plenty of options in the coffee shop.
Happy hour is, well, happy. The Poolside bar is a lifesaver on a sunny day. And the Room service [24-hour]? Yes, please! I may or may not have ordered a late-night cheese and crackers platter. Don't judge me. A Bottle of water is included, naturally.
The Western cuisine in restaurant is brilliant, though somewhat costly. The Asian cuisine in restaurant is a welcome addition.
Services and Conveniences: They've Thought of Almost Everything
They’ve got all the usual suspects covered: Concierge, Concierge, Dry cleaning, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Daily housekeeping, Cash withdrawal, Safety deposit boxes, etc. The Air conditioning in public areas was definitely appreciated, as was the Air conditioning in my room.
The Convenience store is a lifesaver, especially if you realize you forgot to pack a toothbrush (guilty!). The Doorman is friendly and helpful. The Facilities for disabled guests include Facilities for disabled guests. I think they're trying.
However, it's worth mentioning that there aren't many shops in Warkworth, so be prepared for the event you want a snack. I also didn't test the cash withdrawal option, or the Currency exchange.
For the Kids: Family-Friendly, but Check Before You Go
They claim to be family/child friendly, with babysitting service and Kids meal options. I saw a few families, and the vibe seemed pretty positive. However, double-check specifics if you're traveling with little ones. Don't assume because they say they're kid-friendly that it necessarily caters for the needs of your kids. I did not see any Kids facilities.
Available in all rooms: The Nitty Gritty
The rooms are generally lovely. My room had Air conditioning (a godsend), a comfy bed with an Extra long bed. It was also equipped with an Alarm clock (thank goodness), Bathrobes, Bathroom phone (I didn't call anyone, but the option was there), Blackout curtains (essential for sleeping in!), Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker (important!), Complimentary tea (always a nice touch), Desk, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed (thank you!), Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels,
Riviera Sanremo: Your Dream Italian Escape Awaits!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your average, perfectly-polished travel itinerary. This is Bertram's, warts and all, and trust me, there's plenty of "warts" potential in a trip to good ol' Warkworth.
Bertram's Warkworth Whirlwind: A Right Proper Muddle (and Hopefully, a Few Magnificent Moments)
Day 1: Arrival & Initial Panic (aka, "Where's My Luggage?!")
- Morning (7:00 AM): Wake up. Or rather, be violently woken up by that blasted alarm that sounds like a flock of seagulls having a rave. Already questioning all life choices. Breakfast: some suspiciously-colored instant oatmeal (because I'm classy like that).
- Late Morning (10:00 AM): Arrive at Newcastle Airport (NE13, am I right?). The sheer scale of it all is enough to make a sane person weep. My luggage? Poof. Gone. Vanished into the ether. Great start. Commence silent screaming internally.
- Midday (12:00 PM): Finally wrangle a hire car. A tiny, beige monstrosity named… Brenda. Brenda and I are gonna be besties, aren't we? Drive very cautiously towards Warkworth. GPS lies, I swear. Ends up in a field, and nearly run over a flock of particularly judgy sheep. Brenda and I are NO LONGER besties.
- Afternoon (2:00 PM): Check into the cottage. It's picture-postcard-perfect from the outside. Inside? Charming, but the ancient plumbing sounds like a grumpy walrus having a coughing fit. Unpack the emergency travel kit (which thankfully, included my toothbrush and a bar of chocolate. Crisis averted, kind of).
- Late Afternoon (4:00 PM): Wander the village. Oh my god, the Castle. Actually impressive. Feel a genuine "wow, history!" moment, despite my earlier baggage-related meltdown. Take a bazillion photos. Try to resist the urge to climb the crumbling battlements like a medieval ninja. Fail miserably. Scared of heights but do it anyway.
- Evening (6:00 PM): Pub time! The Masons Arms. Order the "local ale." Regret it immediately (a bit too strong, and tastes suspiciously of… grass?). Chat to the locals. They're lovely, even if they do talk at about a million miles an hour. Realize I've been staring at a blank pint glass for the last 30 minutes and am now very very hungry.
- Night (8:00 PM): Dinner at the Old Boat House Restaurant. Okay, this is more like it. Seafood platter? YES, PLEASE. Stuff face. Bliss. Consider remortgaging the house to stay there forever. End the day in fit of giggles.
Day 2: Castle! River! More Castle! (And Attempted Self-Improvement)
- Morning (8:00 AM): Breakfast! Brenda (the car) is going to be our friend today.
- 9:00 AM: Visit the Warkworth Hermitage. Take a ferry to the hermitage, and I am transported. It’s quiet, intimate, and feels like stepping back in time. The priest is a bit of a grumpy, but in an affectionate way, as he gives you a tour (which I'm pretty sure he does every day of his life). Take the Ferry.
- Mid-Morning (10:45 AM): Seriously consider taking up meditation.
- Lunch (12:00 PM): Sandwich at the local bakery. The best sausage roll ever, probably. Definitely.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM): Back to the castle! I'm obsessed. Wander around, imagine myself as a medieval princess (or, more likely, a scullery maid who accidentally gets to sneak a peek at the king). This time, I REALLY try not to climb the battlements. Fail yet again. Have a minor panic attack (turns out, heights make me a bit of a drama queen).
- Late Afternoon (4:00 PM): Try to practice a bit of photography. Fail. Miserably. Realize I'm better at just experiencing things, not capturing them perfectly. Embrace imperfection. Feel oddly liberated.
- Evening (6:00 PM): Drink. In a different pub. The Boat Inn. Better beer. Decide that maybe, just maybe, I could live in Warkworth forever.
- Night (8:00 PM): Dinner at the Sun Hotel. Roast dinner. Everything. Fall asleep.
Day 3: Coastal Capers and the Fickle Finger of Fate (and Departure - sob)
- Morning (9:00 AM): Walk along the beach at Alnmouth. A bit blustery, but beautiful. Watch some dogs frolicking (the highlight of my trip, tbh). Get sand in my shoes.
- Mid-Morning (10:30 AM): Drive to Amble. Wander the harbor. Eat some fish and chips. Drool over the cute fishing boats. Wonder if I could run away and become a sailor.
- Lunch (12:00 PM): Fish and chips. (yes, again! They're that good). Get my jumper covered in seagulls’ droppings.
- Afternoon (1:30 PM): Head back to Warkworth. Try to squeeze in a final wander around the village, trying to pretend I'm not getting attached to this ridiculous place.
- Late Afternoon (3:00 PM): Back to Brenda (the car). Brenda almost doesn't start. Have a mini-heart attack.
- Afternoon (4:00 PM): A final pint in the Masons Arms. Say awkward goodbyes to the friendly locals. Feel a lump in my throat.
- Evening (6:00 PM): Drive to the airport. Actually find my luggage! Fate is kind, after all.
- Night (8:00 PM): Flight home. Stare out the window, a little misty-eyed. Warkworth, you weird, wonderful place. I'll be back. (And next time, I'm bringing a bigger suitcase. And a less grass-tasting beer).
Postscript – Final Thoughts (AKA, Rambling and Realizing)
This? This unplanned mess of a trip was perfect. Messy, imperfect, full of minor mishaps, and moments of pure, unadulterated joy. It wasn't about ticking boxes or seeing all the "sights." It was about soaking up the atmosphere, meeting the people, and letting myself be utterly and gloriously present.
And that, my friends, is exactly what real travel is all about. Now, excuse me while I go and book my next trip. To Warkworth. Again.
Guilin's Hidden Gem: Unbelievable Crescent Moon Hotel!
Okay, So...Warkworth? Never Heard Of Her. Why Should I Even Bother?
Alright, alright, hear me out. Warkworth. It's not exactly on everyone's "must-see" list, is it? And honestly? That's part of its charm. It's like stumbling upon a secret. Imagine a place where history practically *oozes* from the stone walls, where the coastline isn't just pretty; it's dramatic, windswept, and full of secrets. Think proper, untouched sand-between-your-toes beaches, not the manicured, tourist-trap kind. And the castle? Oh, the castle! It's not Windsor, sure, but it has a *vibe*. A proper, brooding, "once upon a time" vibe.
Honestly, I was skeptical! My mates kept banging on about it, and I'm usually more of a city-breaks-and-cocktails kind of person. But... I was utterly floored. We arrived and my jaw just dropped. It was like stepping back in time and I just took it like that.
What's the Big Deal About Warkworth Castle Then? Sounds like just another pile of old rocks...
Okay, so yeah, "pile of old rocks" is a fair assessment. But it's a *glorious* pile of old rocks! Warkworth Castle isn't just a dead husk. It's a survivor. It's got this incredible history, and you can practically feel the echoes of battles and banquets.
The core of it, built by the Normans, is seriously impressive. And don't skip the hermitage! It's carved into a cliffside. Bloody amazing. I tell you what, I'm not a religious person, but that hermitage... it’s humbling! Think about it – someone lived there, in isolation, for who knows how long. Made me appreciate my central heating a whole lot more, let me tell you!
And here's an anecdote for you. On my last visit, I swear I saw a ghost. Or maybe it was the wind howling through the crumbling walls and my overactive imagination. Either way, the atmosphere is absolutely incredible. Just stand still and absorb the atmosphere. It's what the place is about.
Oh, and get a good view from the top, too. Just watch out for the wind! Nearly lost my hat. (And my dignity, trying to retrieve it.)
Is Warkworth really "hidden"? How hard is it to get there?
"Hidden," maybe a slight exaggeration. It's not exactly a well-guarded secret, but it's not like it's overrun by hordes of tourists (thank goodness!). It's tucked away on the Northumberland coast, and getting there is relatively straightforward. Drive, preferably, but there are public transport options if you, like me, just aren't very confident getting in a car (or have a car at all).
Roads can be a bit windy – prepare yourself. And parking? Well, parking can be a *nightmare* during peak season. I’d recommend getting there early and trying to snag a spot before everyone else descends. Seriously, get there early. I’ve learned the hard way. Once I wasted half a day looking for a space.
Okay, beaches! You mentioned beaches. Tell me more! Are they any good?!
Beaches. Oh, yes. *The* beaches. Proper golden sand, unspoiled by massive development, and generally windswept. They're wild, they’re beautiful, and they’re perfect for bracing walks, dog-walking (if you're a dog person!), sandcastle competitions (if you have kids, or your inner child is screaming to get out – no judgement!), or just… well, staring out at the sea. Warkworth Beach is the main one, beautiful.
The views of the castle from the beach? Stunning. Really, truly stunning. Even on a grey day (and let's face it, that's likely!), the scenery is breathtaking. One time I walked the length of the beach, and the tide came up while I was busy taking pictures, and I nearly got stuck. I had to run! It was hilarious in retrospect. The sea is not to be messed with.
Don't forget to wear layers and pack a windbreaker! It can get chilly, even in summer. Also, dog poop bags. People, please, clean up after your dogs.
Is there anything *else* to do in Warkworth besides castles and beaches? I get bored easily.
Okay, I get it. Sometimes, you need more than just history and sand. Warkworth delivers! The town itself is adorable. Quaint, charming, and full of little independent shops and cafes. Grab a cream tea or a proper pub lunch. (The pubs there are seriously cosy!). You can walk along the river. Take a boat trip. Visit the ruins of the Church.
There's not loads of stuff to *do*, do you know what I mean? It's more about the pace. It’s about slowing down. It's about escaping the constant hustle and bustle. It’s about breathing in that fresh sea air and just… being.
I do what I always do, which is head to the pub, find the locals, have a chat. Brilliant. People are friendly.
What about the food? Any recommendations for a hungry traveller?
Food! Essential. You won't find Michelin-starred restaurants, darling, but you will find hearty, satisfying pub grub and fresh, local produce. The pubs in Warkworth are the real stars. The food's good, the beer's cold, and the atmosphere is proper friendly.
I always head to The Old Boat House. Seriously, the food’s good, but the view is just… *chef's kiss*. Fish and chips are a must. Embrace your inner Brit and just *go* for it. Make sure to try the local seafood – it's fresh and delicious. And don't forget a proper English brekkie after a long day of exploring!
Look, it's not exactly a culinary hotspot, but it's honest, filling food, and that's exactly what you need after a day of exploring.
I'm planning a trip! What's the best time of year to visit Warkworth?
The best time? Depends on you! Summer is beautiful: sunny days, long hours of daylight, and perfect beach weather. BUT it's also the busiest. Expect crowds. If you can cope with a bit of rain and some chill, spring or autumn are lovely. The colours are amazing, and it's much quieter. Winter? Well, it's bracing, but the castle looks utterly majestic with a dusting of snow. Just wrap up warm!
<Hotel Whisperer
