Escape to Paradise: Hotel Thomasi Express - Your Maringá Getaway!
Escape to Paradise: Hotel Thomasi Express - Maringá, or My Rollercoaster Romance with a Brazilian Getaway (SEO & Metadata Overload!)
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Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I'm about to unleash my inner travel critic on the Hotel Thomasi Express in Maringá, Brazil. Let's be real, “Express” is a bold claim, but hey, I'm here to judge, devour the buffet (more on that later!), and maybe, just maybe, find a little slice of paradise. This is gonna be a messy, honest, and utterly human review. Consider yourselves warned!
Accessibility: The Good, The Confusing, and the "Meh"
Right off the bat, the Hotel Thomasi Express boasts about its accessibility. And I'm gonna call it like I see it. Wheelchair accessible? YES! That's a HUGE plus. Wide hallways, elevators (essential!), and accessible rooms. I appreciated that. Facilities for disabled guests? They tick that box, too. But… and there’s always a “but,” isn’t there? The ramp leading to the pool area? A little steep. Nothing a determined person couldn't handle, but maybe invest in some professional-grade landscaping, eh? CCTV in common areas and CCTV outside property made me feel safer, which is a must.
My Personal Moment of "WTF?" (And It's Not About the Accessibility)
Let me tell you about the bathroom phone. Seriously? The bathroom phone? Who are you calling from the loo? Your therapist? Your ex? Was it a late-night crisis-response line? The sheer absurdity of this feature just cracked me up. I mean, the things they think of.
On-Site Accessible Restaurants/Lounges: Fueling the Machine
Alright, hungry hounds, let's talk chow. The hotel offers A la carte in restaurant, Buffet in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, and a Poolside bar. Verdict? Mostly good, with a sprinkle of “could be better.” The breakfast buffet was a beast. Asian breakfast, Western breakfast? They had it ALL! I’m talking mountains of pastries, enough fruit to give a monkey a sugar rush, and a coffee station that kept me going. Coffee/tea in restaurant was a lifesaver.
Okay, Real Talk: The Buffet & My Existential Crisis Over Croissants
Here's where things got… intense. The buffet. Oh, the glorious, sprawling, sometimes-slightly-confusing buffet. And my relationship with it? Well, it was complicated. I'm talking a full-blown love/hate affair.
The sheer variety was mind-blowing. Salads, soups, meats galore. But the pastries… the croissants… my god. I’d find myself wandering around, fork in hand, staring at the perfect, buttery spirals, thinking, "Should I? Shouldn't I? Will this be the croissant that breaks me?" (Dramatic, I know. But you gotta understand, I was on vacation). The staff was incredibly patient with my indecisiveness, bless their hearts. Breakfast takeaway service proved handy for grabbing a caffeine fix before dashing out on adventures.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: Spa Day Shenanigans!
Okay, let's get to the good stuff. The spa/sauna. Yes, please! I indulged in a Body scrub and, um, I think a Body wrap. I'm not entirely sure. The steam, the smells, the blissful confusion… all a blur of relaxation. The pool with view was stunning -- an incredible way to start or end your day, looking out over Maringá. The Fitness center was there. Now that's something I didn't try, I’m afraid. Let's be honest, after the buffet, the only fitness happening was dodging the waiters with plates of more food.
Internet Access: A Digital Nomad's Dream (Mostly)
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Hallelujah! Internet [LAN] was also available. Solid. The Internet services were reliable, and I managed to stay connected to the outside world (and, let's be real, my Instagram feed) without too much trouble. Wi-Fi in public areas was also easy to access.
Cleanliness & Safety: Germaphobes, Rejoice!
Okay, so, Covid-19 has changed the game, right? The Hotel Thomasi Express nails the hygiene aspect. Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Individually-wrapped food options (praise be!), Rooms sanitized between stays. They were serious about this. Hand sanitizer was everywhere. I felt completely comfortable. Sanitized kitchen and tableware items were crucial. Seeing staff well-trained in safety protocols made me feel more secure too.
The Quirky Bits & Bobs
- Room decorations: Okay, some of the art on my walls was… interesting. Let's just say, I wouldn't hang it in my own home, but it did provide endless conversation starters.
- The Elevator: A touch of the drama. It's never too old to feel a little bit of fear in a falling elevator.
- The "Proposal Spot": Seriously? A designated proposal spot? I didn't see anyone using it when I did, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to scope it out.
- Shrine: Was there a shrine? I'm pretty sure there was a shrine. I may be wrong, but I think I went past it.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: A Gastronomic Gauntlet
Beyond the buffet, Room service [24-hour] was a lifesaver for late-night cravings. The Snack bar was handy. I wish there was a bit more choice by the pool because it had a great view and was the center of attention. And those Desserts in restaurant. My weakness. My undoing. My reason for existing.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Extras
Air conditioning in public area was a blessing. The Concierge was helpful. Laundry service was a godsend (especially after my epic buffet battles).
For the Kids: Tiny Travelers Welcome!
Family/child friendly. They had the kid stuff covered. Babysitting service and Kids meal were present.
Getting Around: Easy Peasy
Car park [free of charge] was a huge win. Taxi service was readily available. They made it easy.
The Bottom Line (My Slightly Biased Verdict)
The Hotel Thomasi Express in Maringá? It's not perfect. It has its quirks. It has a bathroom phone. But it's a solid choice. Especially for your first few days as you learn the ropes of Brazilian travel. Some things could be improved, like some more shade by the pool. But the accessibility is fantastic, the staff genuinely friendly, and the buffet is an experience in itself. Would I go back? Hmm… maybe. But first, I might hit the gym… then, back to the buffet. I rate it for its price a solid 8/10. Go enjoy!
Escape to Paradise: Ramada by Wyndham Jacksons Point Awaits!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups. This isn't your meticulously planned, sterile travelogue. This is my trip to Hotel Thomasi Express in Maringá, Brazil, and trust me, it's gonna be a wild ride.
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Coffee Catastrophe (aka "Why God Invented Queues")
- 5:00 AM (ish): My alarm shatters the pre-dawn silence. Ugh. Am I a morning person? Absolutely not. But Brazil awaits! After a pre-dawn shower, packing my bags, I'm ready to go!
- 7:00 AM: The flight… Oh, the agony. Let's just say my seatmate’s snoring had the rhythmic quality of a rusty chainsaw. I tried to sleep, I really did. But the turbulence kept waking me up.
- 11:00 AM (local time): Touchdown in Curitiba! Okay, not Maringá, but the connecting flight is delayed. "No worries," the airline agent chirped. "Just a short delay." Famous last words.
- 1:00 PM (ish): Finally, finally arrive at the Maringá airport. The air smells…different. Sweeter, maybe. And definitely less jet-lagged. Now, the taxi… straight to chaos. The driver, bless his cotton socks, spoke about a couple of words of English. I understand I should go to Hotel Thomasi Express, Maringá. I was pretty tired.
- 2:30 PM: Check-in at Hotel Thomasi Express. The lobby is… functional. I was expecting chandeliers and swans made of ice sculptures, but hey, clean is good, yes? The receptionist, a woman with eyes that have seen things (probably too many tourists), hands me a key card. "Welcome! Coffee, yes? Soon." A promise of caffeine is the only thing keeping me from collapsing.
- 3:00 PM: The Coffee Catastrophe. Okay, maybe that's dramatic. What happened was this: I head to the complimentary coffee machine. It’s a glorious, chrome behemoth. I press the "espresso" button, anticipation bubbling in my veins. A single, sputtering drop emerges. One. I try again. Nothing. Then I look over, and there it is. A MASSIVE queue of people. I'm talking a line longer than the one to see the Mona Lisa. I gave up. The lack of caffeine was enough to make me delirious.
- 4:00 PM: Collapse on the bed. The room is small, but clean. It's a box. The TV is ancient. I am defeated.
- 7:00 PM: Managed to wander to a local restaurant. I ordered something unintelligible (pointed, smiled, and hoped for the best). The food? Delicious. Truly, the best bit of the day. I'm thinking about going back for more. I am officially in love with Brazilian food.
Day 2: The Parque do Ingá and My Battle with a Banana
- 9:00 AM (ish): Coffee success! I managed to snag a cup from the now-less-murderous coffee machine. Victory!
- 10:00 AM: Parque do Ingá! This is where I'm supposed to embrace the beauty of Maringá, I think. It's green. Lots of trees. Kids running around, shrieking with joy. The smell of sun-warmed earth and…something else. Fungus maybe? Listen, I'm from a city. I'm not used to nature close like this.
- 11:00 AM: I find a bench. I sit. I people-watch. A dog, a mangy-but-charming mutt, comes up to me. He looks at me expectantly. I have no dog biscuits. I feel terrible.
- 12:30 PM: The Banana Battle. I bought a banana from a street vendor. A magnificent, yellow banana, promising sweet energy. I peel it. It is…stubborn. As I'm wrestling with this banana (in public, I may add), the dog returns. He's judging me. I finally win, somehow. The banana is good, but now my hands are sticky. I vow never to eat a banana in public again.
- 2:00 PM: Lunch at a 'local's' restaurant. I think I've finally got this whole menu-pointing-and-smiling-thing down. The food came, and it was delightful. I will become a local.
- 3:40 PM: Back to the hotel for a nap. The heat has sucked the life out of me.
- 7:00 PM: I am exhausted but exhilarated. I have spent one day in Brazil and it has already worn me out.
Day 3: Maringá Cathedral and The Day I Almost Got Lost
- 9:00 AM: Another successful coffee mission. I am getting the hang of this life of a hotel guest.
- 10:00 AM: I'm exploring! I'm going to see the Maringá Cathedral. It's a cone! You know what? When it comes down to it, I'm an architecture admirer, and I'm also terrified of heights. My reaction? The Cathedral is beautiful. Impressive and imposing.
- 11:30 AM: I get lost. Okay, not lost lost. More like "slightly disoriented." Turns out, all the streets look the same. I wandered, clutching my phone for dear life and muttering about the lack of clearly marked street signs.
- 12:30 PM: Finally, I find my way back to a street I recognize. I treat myself to a gelato. Strawberry. It's the victory reward.
- 1:00 PM: I eat gelato while watching all the locals. The locals are talking, laughing, and going about their daily routine. They are really nice.
- 3:00 PM: Shower, a nap, and a whole lot of contemplating my life choices.
- 6:00 PM: I realize I love Brazil.
Day 4: The Farewell - More Chaotic Coffee and Airport Shenanigans
- 7:00 AM: Packing. I look at my suitcase. It's a mess. I'll deal with it later.
- 8:00 AM: The Final Coffee Confrontation: The coffee machine, taunting me one last time. I make the coffee.
- 9:00 AM: Check-out. The receptionist, now seemingly used to my presence, smiles. "Good trip?" she asks. "Magnificent," I say. The truth is, I don't know when I will go back.
- 11:00 AM: Airport. The flight's delayed. Of course, it is. I embrace the chaos. I laugh at the absurdity.
- 1:00 PM: Board the plane. Goodbye, Maringá. Goodbye, Brazil. I am leaving!
- …and back home: I have no idea where I am. I don't care. I will never forget this trip.
Final Thoughts:
Hotel Thomasi Express? It was a hotel. Brazil? Brilliant, beautiful, and utterly, wonderfully mad. I will be back. Eventually. But first, I need a nap. And maybe a coffee. (But I will know better this time)
Escape to the Dolomites: Stunning Gitschberg Apartment Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Hotel Thomasi Express - Your Maringá Getaway! (Or is it?)
Okay, so, like, what *is* this Hotel Thomasi Express thing anyway? Sounds...generic.
Location, location, location! Where is this Thomasi Express actually *located*? Is it near anything remotely interesting?
The rooms...What's the deal with the rooms? Are they even livable?
**Rambling Alert!** One time, I remember wanting to take a long, hot shower after a particularly brutal bus ride. And the water? Ice. Freaking. Cold. I swear, I aged five years in those five minutes. I yelled. A lot. They did fix it eventually, but the memory still makes me shiver. Pack a sweater, just in case. And maybe a therapist's phone number.
What about the Wi-Fi? Because, survival and all, I *need* the internet.
Breakfast? Is there even breakfast? And, if so, is it…edible?
The staff! What's the staff like? Are they helpful? Do they speak English?
Parking? Do they have parking? Because I *need* to park.
Value for Money? Is it actually worth the price? Should I stay here?
My Personal Experience: The Time the Toilet Tried to Kill Me (Metaphorically, of course.)
